Samus Returns but lost her receipt so she only gets store credit

31 August 2026

Metroid: Samus Returns is, going by release order, the game that makes Samus feel the most badass, the most powerful. She can now effortlessly aim in 360 degrees, she punches monsters fearlessly right in the face before finishing them off with a quick salvo. She's never been better at finding the traps and secrets and staying one step ahead of her enemies and environment.

Normally, Samus gains power by taking it from the Chozo, or her enemies. This time, she takes it from the player.

The most obvious example of this is Aeion Pulse. What is likely an homage/update to the X-Ray Scanner in Super did more to sap my enjoyment out of the game than anything else. Because you can just spam a button to find the secrets, a huge quantity of the secrets aren't visibly distinguishable without it anymore. In past Metroid games an eagle eyed player would have noticed a crack in a block or vent and known this was a hidden route. Instead, worry not player. Samus is on it for you. Don't bother. You don't have her special eyes.

This removes a mastery loop for the player, learning to explore and find these secrets is a small triumph, a reward for a perceptive player (or sometimes just persistent carpet bomber who's stuck) that can really put the wind in your sails and propel your exploration forward. Forcing the use of Aeion Pulse robs the player of these moments and turns exploration into a series of chores. Just tell me where the things are already. Please?

Aeion Pulse also seemed to give the designers license to make the navigation far more frustrating. So many times I would be walking across a bridge or rolling through some maze to find the floor instantly give way and dump me out, forcing me to start the sequence over again.

Should have used Aeion Pulse there idiot! Samus would have known those were fake blocks!

It was a very Lucy with the football thing, where I would keep going and then it would keep getting me and I wouldn't ever learn "hey, just keep spamming Aeion Pulse" but coming immediately off two prior Metroid games, this simply wasn't in my exploration vocabulary. This could happen sometimes, but it was rarer and the game was better at communicating these weak spots.

An insidious way the game also takes away the feeling of progressing as a player is how samey the 40 Metroid bosses are. Normally, each boss in Metroid is pretty unique and a player can feel as though they've grown when they've mastered a new challenge and defeated it, their prize on the other side.

In Samus Returns, these Metroid mini bosses are largely the same, so the player doesn't feel like they're accomplishing anything new. There's no reward for the routine, it's just something you have to do. The game doesn't give you the option to test out of Gamma Metroids, I've got it from here game, we can just skip this part. It feels like padding for its own sake.

It's additionally tragic because there ARE good boss fights in the game, it's not for a lack of ability or imagination. The Diggernaut was fun and exactly the kind of mastery loop Metroid should be known for. You try, you fail, but you get a little farther, you learn the pattern and the finish line is so agonizingly close!

The only interesting Metroid, the baby, is gotten far too late in the game where its additional power seems more optional than anything. After you get it, you can go directly to the final boss fight, or you can backtrack every zone to pick up everything you missed. I loved the baby (insert either the Brooklyn Nine Nine Rosa or Simpsons Do it for her memes). I did spend the additional couple hours looping around to get a bunch of pickups, hence my highest completion percentage ever for one of these, 92%. But also that's just free. Players will bond with any little pet you give them, even if it's a horrible little vampiric alien monster whose entire species you wiped out.

Ultimately the baby doesn't really add a cool new verb to Samus's arsenal. It just kind of eats the crystals which isn't really how Metroid power ups tend to work: sure, the high jump unlocks more of the map, but it's also useful for dodging boss projectiles. Further, it's not something either you or Samus uses, you just stand by and watch Samus stand by and watch it do its thing. It's just underwhelming for a final unlock.

I suppose that at least Samus knows how I felt watching her solve all the puzzles with the Aeion Pulse without me.